Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and being reluctant to completely absorb that at the moment," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his current health, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Possibly that's trauma or perhaps I deal with matters in another way, and after I have the details, it's more manageable," he added.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the issue, a number of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I think everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense ill. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the condition claims a 33% of people within a year and over half within two years of identification, as eating and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was rather devastating," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the tears off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody explained the focus was remaining in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just embracing and enjoying each moment now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been very lucky that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much time with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Player Association
Top-level competitors are disproportionately affected by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the condition is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is thought that by restricting the oxygen obtainable and creating damage to nerve cells, consistent, strenuous training can trigger the condition in those inherently predisposed.
Sports Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a workout altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a training equipment and began participating in tackles.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the set piece in the critical passage of play, setting a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop-goal.
Support Network
Moody has already told Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a handful of other former team-mates about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he stated.
"This game is such a wonderful family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your vocation, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"To have done it for so considerable a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will want to support in any way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
